Monday, August 1, 2011

When phones had cords, and you got your tax forms at the library

I love the internet. I do. I'm even using the internet to learn French.

Okay, by "using the internet to learn French" it's possible that I mean "I bookmarked the BBC languages site, and will definitely get around to using it at some point",* but that's neither here nor there.

The point is, internet = important. More than that, "check the internet" is kind of hardwired into my brain. It's my response to basically any situation. If the power suddenly goes out, or my internet is down, my first instinct is to use Google to check if the problem is widespread.

I've been on Pinterest for less that a week, but I'm already obsessed. When the servers go down, a tiny part of me freaks out. Because people are pinning things. They're pinning things and I can't see them.

And I know this isn't just me. There are tons of people who, when Twitter is down, are paralyzed by their inability to tweet about it. So they facebook it instead. Then they tweet about facebooking it later.

I'm kind of rambling, but I have a point: don't you kind of wish you'd become a functional adult before the internet? Because there are things that people must have been able to do before the internet, but I have no clue how. Like comparing credit cards. Or finding out about new books. Or figuring out who to call if the gutters fall off of your house. What the hell would gutter guys be under in the phone book? How would I know without Google to tell me? Plus, not having service reviews would increase my fear of being robbed/murdered by a random repair guy tenfold.

(I watched a lot of 20/20 as a kid. There were a lot of "kidnapped by the plumber" stories. Things like that are the building blocks of neuroses.)

I just feel like it'd be really nice if I could respond to my wi-fi failing in a way that didn't involve retreating to an interior room, and nervously waiting for the world to right itself again.

*Yes, I know that comma belongs inside the quotations, but I think that it looks stupid and wrong that way.

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