Thursday, May 27, 2010

Um, Oops?

You've been spared from a post-Doctor Who wrap-up entry, partially because (with the exception of the first scene with The Doctor and Rory) I liked-not-loved last week's episode. But mostly this non-nerdy post is the result of my completely neglecting to post for the last week. Sorry.

Anyway, I'm back now. Unfortunately I can't really claim to be bringing my "A" game, because I've become temporarily obsessed with Boy Meets World. Or at least the idea of it. Is it at cultural touchstone level? I mean, kids born in the 80's know Full House and Cosby Show (and apparently Small Wonder, but I'm completely in the dark on that one). If I say the name "Balki" to any of my friends, they'll catch the reference. But what of Cory Matthews? And Eric? And First Morgan? And, to a much lesser extent, Second Morgan? Because I just watched season two of Chuck, and when Ben Savage got sold out by Nicole Ritchie, all I could think was "Topanga never would've done that."

Friday, May 21, 2010

Let's just get this out of the way now...

I'm a nerd. And I need you to understand that I don't mean this in the everyone's-a-nerd-about-something way. You know the people who are like "Oh, I'm such a fashion nerd - I can't bear to leave the house without looking head-to-toe trendy and gorgeous!"? I'm not that girl. (sidebar: that little punctuation party back there can't possibly be correct, but I lack the drive to figure out how to do it properly. I just wanted you to know that I know it's jacked up.) I'm not the person whose nerdy confessions are actually things that make me seem super-cool. I'm the girl whose glasses broke in the middle freshman year, and who hence had to spend months with a broken-off paper clip and a piece of safety pin standing in for the screws.

I'm that kind of nerd.

And at night, right before my I drift off into nerdy dreams about being The Doctor's new companion, and getting to save the world in the season finale Rose Tyler or Donna Noble style (no offense to Martha Jones, but come on - Rose manipulated the space-time continuum, Martha told a story.) I ask the universe for one thing: That Alyson Hannigan work with Joss Whedon again.

It's not that I don't like her on How I Met Your Mother. I think it's a great show, and I think every member of the core cast is integral. But there's got to be a good chunk of time between the filming of seasons, and that would be an excellent time to knock out some sort of Joss Whedon project about a strong, complex, female lead who does...something. To be honest, I don't even care what it is that the character does. She could be an ass-kicking sanitation worker; as long as it's Alyson Hannigan and Joss Whedon, I'm there.

I understand that there may be doubters out there - on HIMYM her character has been mostly centered on comedy (with the exception of the end of season 1) - but have you seen the last chunk of Season 6 of Buffy? Because that needs to happen for you right now. Alyson Hannigan needs to kick ass Joss Whedon style again. The world needs Alyson Hannigan to kick ass Joss Whedon style again. And if it could be alongside Amy Acker and Gina Torres, even better.

Oh, and Alan Tudyk.

Sorry. I'm done now. I promise next time I'm geek out less in my post.
Unless it's after I've seen this week's Doctor Who, in which case all bets are off.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A little scoop of hypocrisy

In general, I'm opposed to paparazzi wildly stalking famous people. Red carpet shots are obviously fine, and I have little sympathy when it comes to drunken partying shots. I mean, I'm nobody and if I get drunk somewhere and dance on a table I could still end up on the internet for it.

That said, I have no interest at all in shots that zoom their way into people's living rooms, or shots obtained by stalking them around town all day. Anything along the lines of "OMG, it's Sandra Bullock eating a salad!!!" followed by wild speculations about what her choosing Gorgonzola and baby field greens might mean about her emotional state has no appeal to me. Same goes for anything touting exclusive photos of "Stars without Makeup". I wear makeup about three times a month, so I'm not really bothered if Eva Longoria-Parker - who is, let us not forget, preternaturally gorgeous - opts out of donning a MAC counter worth of concealer/blush/eyeshadow/bronzer/whatever else to walk the dog. Basically, I'm not really down with the idea that celebrity must be poised to shine and charm 24/7.

The reason I feel the need to make a big stand for celebrity rights to privacy is so that I can feel a little less ashamed about this: Wouldn't it be kind of awesome if there were an IMDB-like site for celebrity relationships? Not nosy speculative stuff - I don't remotely care whether Jessica Simpson is currently dating Jeremy Renner or not - just actual, publicly confirmed relationships. That way, when I'm sitting at my desk watching Chris Klien's Mamma Mia audition tape (I'm admittedly to lazy to link, but I found it on Jezebel. You should watch it; he gets crazy eyes when he sings) and I vaguely remember a post on Go Fug Yourself in which he and some young actress were presenting an award together and the Fug Girls noted that this actress vaguely resembled Katie Holmes, and that made her just his type, I would be able to find out if it was Ginnifer Goodwin that he was standing with, or if Ginnifer Goodwin was the Katie Holmes look-a-like ex*. In reality, it would rank really quite low on the Invasiveness Totem Pole**; no need for salacious details, just enough information to answer "weren't Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette some sort of Canadian power couple for awhile?"
So make it happen, internet. The world needs this.

*In the end, I sorted through the GFY archives - Ginnifer Goodwin is the ex. Kristen Kreuk is the Katie Holmes look-alike that they thought would be up his alley.
**The Invasivenes Totem Pole is written as a proper noun because, even if it's not a real thing, it should be.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Career Placement

My current job has an expiration date. In about a year and a half I will become unnecessary and I'll be out on my ass. Since I'm a former English major and, let's be real here, a bit on the flaky side I have zero clue where to go from here. The mere thought of trying to figure out a new career path (since my current administration/secretarial situation isn't a path so much as a cul-de-sac) has been known to send me into fits of anxiety.
But no more. Because over the weekend, I saw Iron Man 2, and now I know just what I want to be: a Movie Scientist.
Seriously, think about it - it's the best job EVER. As long as you make sure you're a lead, not some side character who ends up as collateral damage in some explosion, the wonders are endless.

Benefits are as follows:
1) You get to be really hot, but never have to go to the gym.
2) You are likely to be inexplicably wealthy.
3) Massive Scientific Breakthroughs just pop into your head. Seriously. You need a freaking perpetual motion machine, all you've got to do is twirl around in your chair a little, let your gaze fall on some random object, have a "Eureka!" moment, do a brief montage, and it's done.
4) Knowledge of math (which I find a little boring) and Chemistry (which I loathe) are implied, but you're never called upon to prove them.
5) Despite being wildly devoted to your work you'll find time to ensure that you always look fantastic and have awesome clothes (see also TV Cops, female).

I'm going to start today. And by "start today" I mean get a hair cut and a well-cut lab coat and wait to be declared a genius.