Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A little scoop of hypocrisy

In general, I'm opposed to paparazzi wildly stalking famous people. Red carpet shots are obviously fine, and I have little sympathy when it comes to drunken partying shots. I mean, I'm nobody and if I get drunk somewhere and dance on a table I could still end up on the internet for it.

That said, I have no interest at all in shots that zoom their way into people's living rooms, or shots obtained by stalking them around town all day. Anything along the lines of "OMG, it's Sandra Bullock eating a salad!!!" followed by wild speculations about what her choosing Gorgonzola and baby field greens might mean about her emotional state has no appeal to me. Same goes for anything touting exclusive photos of "Stars without Makeup". I wear makeup about three times a month, so I'm not really bothered if Eva Longoria-Parker - who is, let us not forget, preternaturally gorgeous - opts out of donning a MAC counter worth of concealer/blush/eyeshadow/bronzer/whatever else to walk the dog. Basically, I'm not really down with the idea that celebrity must be poised to shine and charm 24/7.

The reason I feel the need to make a big stand for celebrity rights to privacy is so that I can feel a little less ashamed about this: Wouldn't it be kind of awesome if there were an IMDB-like site for celebrity relationships? Not nosy speculative stuff - I don't remotely care whether Jessica Simpson is currently dating Jeremy Renner or not - just actual, publicly confirmed relationships. That way, when I'm sitting at my desk watching Chris Klien's Mamma Mia audition tape (I'm admittedly to lazy to link, but I found it on Jezebel. You should watch it; he gets crazy eyes when he sings) and I vaguely remember a post on Go Fug Yourself in which he and some young actress were presenting an award together and the Fug Girls noted that this actress vaguely resembled Katie Holmes, and that made her just his type, I would be able to find out if it was Ginnifer Goodwin that he was standing with, or if Ginnifer Goodwin was the Katie Holmes look-a-like ex*. In reality, it would rank really quite low on the Invasiveness Totem Pole**; no need for salacious details, just enough information to answer "weren't Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette some sort of Canadian power couple for awhile?"
So make it happen, internet. The world needs this.

*In the end, I sorted through the GFY archives - Ginnifer Goodwin is the ex. Kristen Kreuk is the Katie Holmes look-alike that they thought would be up his alley.
**The Invasivenes Totem Pole is written as a proper noun because, even if it's not a real thing, it should be.

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