Monday, May 10, 2010

Career Placement

My current job has an expiration date. In about a year and a half I will become unnecessary and I'll be out on my ass. Since I'm a former English major and, let's be real here, a bit on the flaky side I have zero clue where to go from here. The mere thought of trying to figure out a new career path (since my current administration/secretarial situation isn't a path so much as a cul-de-sac) has been known to send me into fits of anxiety.
But no more. Because over the weekend, I saw Iron Man 2, and now I know just what I want to be: a Movie Scientist.
Seriously, think about it - it's the best job EVER. As long as you make sure you're a lead, not some side character who ends up as collateral damage in some explosion, the wonders are endless.

Benefits are as follows:
1) You get to be really hot, but never have to go to the gym.
2) You are likely to be inexplicably wealthy.
3) Massive Scientific Breakthroughs just pop into your head. Seriously. You need a freaking perpetual motion machine, all you've got to do is twirl around in your chair a little, let your gaze fall on some random object, have a "Eureka!" moment, do a brief montage, and it's done.
4) Knowledge of math (which I find a little boring) and Chemistry (which I loathe) are implied, but you're never called upon to prove them.
5) Despite being wildly devoted to your work you'll find time to ensure that you always look fantastic and have awesome clothes (see also TV Cops, female).

I'm going to start today. And by "start today" I mean get a hair cut and a well-cut lab coat and wait to be declared a genius.

1 comment:

  1. You gotta love the "Eureka!" moment.

    I want to be comic relief. They usually make it to the end of the movie, and they get to hang out with the super hero or action star, and quip all day whilst drinking champagne. I'm in!